


Christmas Chaos at Dunder-Mifflin

by sehunbussy



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Creed Being Creed, F/M, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Karma - Freeform, Michael Scott Being An Inappropriate Boss, Mistletoe, but there are many mistletoe shenanigans to go around, not tagging for every 'pairing' that occurs in this because that would ruin the fun, seriously thats all this fic is about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23267371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sehunbussy/pseuds/sehunbussy
Summary: Michael Scott buys mistletoe for the office to bring in some "festive spirit". It goes about as well as you would expect.
Relationships: Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	Christmas Chaos at Dunder-Mifflin

**Author's Note:**

> i've been experimenting with my formatting so sorry if the spacing turns out weird, I'm Trying My Best(no proofreading we die like real men). anyways, never expected to be writing fanfic of the office, but i love Comedy writing and i just finished marathoning the show for the first time sooo. i am now hopelessly attached to the characters, who knows if ill write more Funny Scenarios for fun. anyways, hope this entertains somebody!

“Angela, I’m gonna need…fifty dollars from your party planning fund”, Michael asked after storming into the Party Planning Committee’s meeting. Angela rolled her eyes. “Michael, this money is for party purposes only.” She snatched a twenty on the table away from Micahel and continued to glare. Michael simply guffawed and poked Angela’s face(which she did not appreciate), saying “oh, Angela.” 

“I’m using this money for some party planning of my own!”, he announced. While Angela continued to look incredibly pissed and Phyllis simply confused, Michael took the opportunity to snatch back the twenty from Angela and run out the door. The camera then shifted to Michael rifling through Phyllis’s purse and pocketing more money.

  
  


After lunch, Michael came back with two giant brown bags and a devious expression. “Oh man, I sure hope nobody asks me what’s in these bags, because that is top secret! Seriously, you guys better not peek, or you’ll ruin the fun!” In typical Michael fashion, he had proclaimed this loudly enough to get 75% of the office’s attention, and yet still flashed a dramatic ‘I’m watching you’ sign before retreating into his office. Jim made The Face before swiveling his chair back towards his computer.

  
  


At 5 o’clock, Michael stood by the door, waving everyone goodbye. “Goodbye Stanley! Goodbye Ryan!” Eventually, only Pam was left, still finishing up some copies.

“Pam, Pam, Pam, what are you doing? It’s time to go home!” 

“I’m just finishing this up” she replied, eyes wide in bewilderment.

Michael waved his hands. “None of that! It’s the holiday season!” In one of his endless character voices, he said in a vaguely robotic tone “Pam, I order you to go home e-mediate-ly.” 

She walked over to the coat-rack to grab her jacket before walking out the door dejectedly.

“Goodbye, Pam”, Michael said, still in robot voice. He even bent over stiffly and raised his arm straight up for the wave, attempting to channel the robotic spirit.

Once the door shut, Michael turned to the camera and smiled with a thumbs up.

  
  


Michael was seen hanging mistletoe around the office. He hung one right at the door, one by the copier, one in the annex, and even one by the vending machines. Michael had of course used  leopard “duck tape” to accomplish this feat, and had knocked over most of Dwight’s stuff when he stood on his desk to hang one in between his and the Phyllis-Stanley desk clump. 

“Yeah, I know the Christmas party isn’t til tomorrow night, but I figured why not add a little holiday spirit to the office during the day? Plus, the opportunities for this thing are hi-larious!” He then burst out laughing. “Jan better come to the party, because half of this was for her. Not that we need any ‘mistytoe’ to  _ get it awn _ !” 

  
  


The next morning, Michael got there bright and early and sat on the receptionist desk to watch his first victims. Dwight was the second one to get there, but he seemed completely oblivious as he walked in and towards his desk without any reaction. Until of course, he saw his desk in disarray. Luckily for Michael, Dwight just muttered “dammit, Jim” before rearranging everything and getting back to work.

The rest of the office seemed to be just as uninterested as Dwight, with those like Stanley and Angela simply looking up at the mistletoe in distaste before continuing to their desks.  _ This is why we need more carpooling _ , Michael thought as he realized that most people came in one at a time. But his prayers were answered when Jim and Pam walked in together, giggling about something. Those two had so many inside jokes; Michael was envious of their easy chemistry. Why couldn’t Jan laugh with him like that all the time?

“A-HA! Gotcha!” Michael yelled in glee as soon as they passed the mistletoe, jumping off the counter and pointing upward. The two followed his glance in confusion until they saw the haphazardly placed mistletoe. “Now you have to  _ kiiiss _ !” Michael laughed, clearly enjoying himself way too much. No one else was even paying attention, Stanley sparing them a single glance before going back to his crossword.

Jim and Pam looked at each other awkwardly. Pam was still with Roy, and had found out about Jim’s crush after Michael spilled the beans. Michael must’ve been very entertained by catching them here. Jim was still her best friend and Pam didn’t hold anything against him, but she felt weird about the idea of kissing Jim right now. What if he was uncomfortable? She would  _ never  _ want that. What if Roy found out and got mad?

She should’ve known Michael would pull something like this. But hey, that was her excuse, right? She  _ had  _ to kiss Jim now. With that in mind, she smiled before saying “let’s do it” to Jim and tilting her head up. 

She was shocked, and for some reason disappointed, when Jim leaned forwards with a smile too before turning his head and kissing her cheek at the last moment. It was for an office shenanigan, Jim might as well go all the way. She tried to shake off her disappointment though, that was weird and absolutely not an appropriate thing to feel right now.

“Lame!” Michael called out, clearly disappointed with Jim’s trick as well. At least she was able to share a laugh with Jim at Michael’s absurdity before heading to their desks.

…

No one had paid much attention to Jim and Pam’s mistletoe moment, but they quickly changed course after Meredith walked in. “Sweet, mistletoe!” she exclaimed before walking over to the one by the copier and waiting. Everyone looked above their heads in dismay, noting the various mistletoes scattered about. 

“Why is there one behind my desk?!” Dwight complained, immediately snapping his head towards Jim. 

He raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t look at me, that was Michael’s doing.”

“I don’t believe you”, Dwight replied flatly.

Jim opened his mouth in protest, ready to bring up his setup with Pam until he realized that Dwight might use that as evidence against him too. And the last thing Jim needed was  _ Dwight  _ calling him out on his crush in front of the whole office.

  
  


Ryan was Meredith’s first victim. Despite Kevin staring at the copier from his desk in fear and Pam staying rooted to her chair, Ryan just walked on over with no fucks given. “Ryan, don’t-” “Ryan!” “Don’t do it, man.” By the time he realized something was up, Meredith’s lips were on his and his face was filled with horror. 

“Nice!”, Michael yelled, ringing the bell on the counter. “The ‘mistytoe’ strikes again!” Ryan had finally pulled Meredith off of him and looked at Michael in disgust. “Why.” Michael just started cackling before going back to his office and staring out the window.

  
  


Over the course of the day, more and more victims landed up under the mistletoe. There was now an unspoken rule of one person at a time for the copier, and things in the annex were going fine as Kelly and Ryan simply used it as an excuse to make out all day, but the one behind Dwight’s desk had proven to be quite a challenge. It was a pretty common walkway, and so far it had caught Phyllis and Dwight(which they both despised), Oscar and Phyllis, Jim and Meredith(she did that one on purpose), and Meredith and Creed. 

Phyllis was having the most bad luck, as she kept forgetting about it, while Jim and Dwight were the most vigilant. Since Dwight had been the first one to get caught under it with Phyllis, he quickly adapted to avoid a future incident, especially after seeing Oscar and realizing that the mistletoe could lead to a gay kiss. Dwight was as straight as an arrow, thank you very much.

Jim was on the same page. He sure as hell didn’t want to kiss his coworkers, especially after being trapped by Meredith, who tasted like shitty beer. Unfortunately, while Jim and Dwight were so busy plotting how to avoid their fellow coworkers when getting up, they forgot to account for each other.

Dwight had been bragging about how impervious he was to cold weather, so Jim had decided on the perfect prank of putting a snowball down Dwight’s shirt. It was a little mean, but Dwight deserved it. Besides, he had mocked Jim’s scarf, and Pam had gotten him that scarf as an early Christmas gift so he was pretty defensive of it.

Jim strolled in from the parking lot, snowball hidden behind his back. He sauntered over to Dwight’s desk and stood behind him in preparation. “Hey Dwight, what did you say about you and cold weather earlier?” Dwight turned his head and raised an eyebrow. “That the cold is powerless against my superior Schrute willpower, why?” 

Jim smirked before putting the snowball in the neck of Dwight’s shirt. Since it was such a tight dress shirt, it just kinda stayed there. Like clockwork, Dwight was jumping out of his seat and shrieking about it. “Jim, what the hell?!” “What’s the matter, Dwight? Though you couldn’t get cold.”

Dwight’s freakout was interrupted by Michael running out of his office and yelling “A-HA!” at them. Dwight was more than occupied failing to get the snowball out, and Jim was busy being amused at that. At this point everyone was watching, with many laughing at Dwight’s struggle. 

Michael frowned before walking up to them and poking Jim until he had his attention. “Michael, what-” “Kiss!” he yelled. Jim blinked at him in confusion. Then it all came crashing down on him. He forgot about the fucking mistletoe. Oh well, he wasn’t going to let the mistletoe get in the way of his pranks anyways. Michael kept screaming at them to kiss and everyone looked on in anticipation and for some, disgust.

“Let me get the snowball out first!” Dwight yelled, clearly distressed. Was he really that incompetent? Jim sighed before grabbing it and throwing it at the ground. It had already melted a good amount so Dwight’s neck was dripping. He figured it would be hilarious to go ahead and grab Dwight’s neck while he was unaware. Meredith wolf-whistled, and Michael continued to chant “kiss, kiss, kiss!” 

Angela stormed over to them and yelled “stop it!” at Michael, launching into a rant about how “this is unacceptable” and “how can you let two men kiss in our office?”, complaining that this was disrespectful to her beliefs. Michael just dismissed her, saying “this is what comedy is all about, Angela! This is beautiful! Yay to homosexuality; yay Oscar!” before returning to the chaos. (Oscar did not appreciate the “shout-out.”)

Jim had been making unwavering eye contact with Dwight the whole time in an attempt to freak him out, and Dwight was starting to blush. Forget the snowball thing, this was a way better prank. Someone yelled “get it over with”, and Jim smirked before kissing Dwight. He was of course going to make this experience as ridiculous as possible and fought Dwight until he was able to get his tongue in, stubbornly continuing the kiss until Dwight kicked his shin and caught him off guard. 

That kick had really hurt, to be honest, but Jim still came out of it smiling at the fact that he had just made Dwight make out with him. Dwight was always going on about how manly and heterosexual he was; this was sure to knock him down a peg. “Jim used tongue!” Dwight accused, but to his disbelief Michael just said “wow Dwight, that’s pretty gay of you” before walking away. “B-but! He-, I didn’t-” Dwight stammered before stomping back to his chair and glaring at Jim. Jim winked at him(Dwight grimaced back) before swiveling around to smile at Pam.

  
  


Pam would have her moment when later in the day, she got up to copy something without thinking and ran into Angela of all people. She wasn’t even thinking about the mistletoe, but Michael sure was. He burst out of his office and starting making tasteless jokes about his desire to see some “girl-on-girl action.” Kevin made a comment about lesbian porn. 

Pam knew that their office was full of stupid and ignorant straight men, but seriously? Being a woman was so exhausting. And despite all the obnoxious reactions, Pam didn’t care or have anything against kissing a girl, but this was  _ Angela Martin _ , homophobe extraordinaire. She lost her mind over simply witnessing two men kissing; Pam was honestly afraid Angela might snap and try to kill her if they had to share a kiss.

Angela was of course loudly voicing all of her protests, once again whining about how “immoral” and “inappropriate” homosexuality is, but at least Pam could share the sentiment that she absolutely did not want to do this. Michael Scott would have none of this though, so he walked up to the pair and physically pushed the two together, while both protested.

Pam was just staring blankly ahead as Michael kept trying to push her head towards Angela, who was turning her head as far as physically possible and had her eyes squeezed shut like a kid terrified of getting a shot. When Angela finally realized that Michael was simply never going to give up on this, she sighed before giving the world’s most chaste kiss on the lips that lasted for at most half of a second before storming back to her desk.

Oscar just stared blankly as Angela pulled a flask of “holy water” from one of her desk drawers and began downing it. Meredith looked over in envy, assuming it was vodka, before pulling out some sort of alcohol from her own desk drawers. Michael was happy as ever, cheering and clapping afterwards despite his complaints that their kiss was “totally lame” and “a waste of  Pam’s sex appeal”, because “Pam would make a hot lesbian.” She made a mental note to never ever let anyone in the office know if she ever got with a girl.

She looked over to Jim and was dismayed to see him smiling. She thought Jim was better than that. She sighed before finally making the copies that had gotten her into this situation.

Jim smiled at the camera. “Why was I laughing at Pam and Angela? Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not one of  _ those  _ guys who loses their mind over two girls. But Angela’s pretty homophobic, right? You gotta admit it was hi-larious to see her having to go against her own uptight morals, especially after she was so offended by me and Dwight. I’ve never really liked Angela. And she’s always saying rude things to Pam, so it’s like ha! Take that!” He flushed a little at that last sentence, clearing his throat before going back to his usual stare.

  
  


After all of the day’s shenanigans, it was finally time for the actual party, and things were going swingingly. Decorations were up, and at Angela’s insistence the mistletoe over the entrance and in between sales had been removed, so that threat was no longer looming over everybody’s heads. Even Stanley was enjoying himself, as he had gotten cozy eating some cake in the corner of the conference room with Phyllis while Michael was being his usual loud self in the hallway. 

But as the party went on, they ran out of paper plates(Michael had the suspicion that Creed was behind it). Regardless of why the paper plates were missing, people were not done eating yet, and Jim had somehow roped Michael into going to the annex to fetch them. He protested, but when he saw Kevin eating the cake with his hands and infuriating everybody else, he resigned himself to the job as it was his duty to save the party.

What Michael didn’t notice was Jim’s smirk as he turned to walk away, silently gesturing for the others to follow along with him. They shadowed Michael’s path as sneakily as possible(not everyone had come, luckily) and watched from afar as he strolled into the annex. Michael was singing about paper plates under his breath, audibly pondering where they would be. 

He spotted them soon enough on Kelly’s desk and gathered them in his arms before spinning around to come face-to-face with Toby. His face immediately contorted with disgust and he dropped all the plates before glaring at Toby and attempting to walk around him. Toby, hopeless as ever, mirrored Michael’s actions which prevented him from moving. Then Jim slammed open the door and felt incredibly vindicated as he yelled “HA!”

“What now Jim, I’m busy trying to navigate around human garbage.” Toby frowned. “Look up”, Jim replied.

Michael glanced in horror to see mistletoe hanging above his and Toby’s head, clearly having forgotten about putting one in the annex. Pam peeked out from behind Jim, clearly satisfied to see Michael being the uncomfortable one for once. 

This was the perfect payback for earlier; she was so thankful to Jim for coming up with the idea. Jim knew that Toby hated leaving his desk even during parties, and luckily sending Michael into the depths of the annex had done the trick of piqueing Toby’s interest.

Michael stood frozen for quite some time, until Toby started mumbling something and he turned back to him to scream “NO!” If Jim could see inside Michael’s brain, he was sure he would see the world as he knew it crumbling into pieces. This was probably Michael’s ultimate worst nightmare. He couldn’t say that he felt bad though.

As Jim, Pam, and the others who had followed all gleefully yelled “kiss!” at Michael, he took a deep breath and stared at Toby. His face changed from hate into an expression not unlike Angela’s from earlier, with his entire face comically scrunched up and his eyebrows raised to the roof. He shuddered forward and barely even let his lips come into contact with Toby’s chapped ones(because of course Toby wouldn’t use chapstick) before snapping back hard enough to give himself whiplash.

He then crumpled into a ball on the floor and started fake-sobbing dramatically, whining about how his lips had been “soiled” and how he was now “contaminated with boring.” Toby awkwardly shuffled back over to his desk, somehow managing to still have no reaction at all other than his usual slightly depressed look, before going back to writing his latest  _ Chad Flenderman  _ novel.

Everyone else laughed at Michael’s despair before leaving him to his woes, Jim high-fiving everybody on the way back to the party. Michael continued to make a scene, getting up from the floor and wiping his lips like a cat grooming itself before heading to the kitchen and beginning to smear mayonnaise on his lips. Creed walked into this scene and simply asked “oh, you do that too?” before grabbing a takeout box that was clearly labeled “PHYLLIS” and walking away.


End file.
